Considering all the media hype around Jon and Kate Gosselin from "Jon And Kate Plus 8," I thought I'd look at the idea of reality television as a whole. Probably half of what you find on TV now is some type of reality show where they either follow "interesting" people around, put people in competition with eachother, or let viewers decide the fate of the show's stars. I guess the whole point is to see real live people similar to ourselves so that we can relate to them and experience their lives.........what kind of crap is that? There's some entertainment in this somewhere, but I don't see it. Some shows are compelling enough (which I'll talk about later), but too much of it gets way too out of control.
Lets start by examining the types of reality shows, and mention some of the more notorious ones. How about we begin with shows that follow real people around who have some "unique" kind of lifestyle. That's where "Jon and Kate Plus 8" fit in. Now since their train wreck story has been shoved down my throat for weeks now, I've been forced to choose a side. I choose Jon's. If you've seen any of the show, one thing is pretty clear: Kate treats Jon like dirt. And I don't want to hear that "oh, she's just a strong woman" garbage.......she's just horrible. Maybe the fame got to her or something, but all I know is I wouldn't blame Jon for doing the stuff he's accused of doing rather than see him just outright run out of there and leave his kids behind. See what being on camera all the time does to you? If Jon and Kate were smart, they would've stopped doing the show completely for the sake of their kids. Unfortunately the paparazzi are cockroaches that are a pain to get rid of, so all you can do is "prevent" them from getting into your lives. TLC sucks now too because their channel is supposed to be about learning, and they feel the need to show the break up of this huge family........I think TLC really stands for "Turning Life to Crap."
What other shows fall into the above category? Well, I can't think of specific names, but what about the ones that follow the lives of certain celebrities that we should even give a damn about? Kathy Griffin, Tori Spelling, Denise Richards, Tom Sizemore......these people are entertainers and I'd rather see them using their "talent" to entertain me rather than what they do on a daily basis. I outright don't care. If they're not acting, they don't need to get paid for any more exposure than is neccessary.
I know my wife will beat me for this, but who else has had it with the whole "Real Housewives" series? Orange County, New York, Atlanta, New Jersey........unless you're working two jobs to support your family, live in a modest home, and don't begrudge your friends for saying the truth about you behind your back, you are NOT a "real housewife." These are overly rich women who are stuck up and plastic surgeried to high hell (I'll make up words with the best of them), and while a couple are good to look at I could care less about. Even though they seem to live these rich lives and get whatever they want, you have to see that they aren't the happiest people out there, and why would we want that depressing fact shoved in our face?
OK, I'd better move on. Let's start with the reality competition shows. "American Idol," "The Bachelor," "The Bachelorette," and not to mention the really horrid ones on VH1 (Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love New York.....notice that these shows have multiple seasons? Yeah, like they know anything about love)........how have these all gone on for so long? Not even half the winners on "AI" have had a real career after winnng the show, most of the couples from the "Bachelor" shows don't last.......why are these shows still on? They accomplish nothing in the end. Other than the occassional entertainment from the inevitable losers on these shows (My rule is watch the first 4 episodes, then stop watching), you can wait until the news reports on who wins these shows. Then wait until the pointless update on how their debut album had abysmal sale/how their relationship is on the rocks/how the celebrity has done nothing after winning the dancing show. That pretty well covers this whole section, although I will ask why would VH1 try to find love for the dirtiest celebrities or half-celebrities that you wouldn't want to share a toilet with?
Now I've come up with a special category for certain reality shows out there: the "fake" reality shows. These are shows that you might think are in one of the two categories above, but watching it long enough makes you think otherwise and regret the weeks you've wasted keeping up with the show. Let's start with a recent one: "The Celebrity Apprentice." The first season was interesting that I started watching season 2. Not even halfway through, I knew something was up. Celebrities got fired for things unrelated to the task of the show, while ones who should've been fired early on were kept around for way too long. Then the finale between Joan Rivers and Annie Duke. Even though Annie earned 3 times the money Joan did, Joan Rivers won. What the......? Pierce Morgan beat Trace Adkins last season because he earned more money.......when did that change? Can someone say "fixed?" This is worse than the few attempts the Fox channel made where the end seemed overly fixed.
Another show that follows a celebrity around is "Gene Simmon's Family Jewels." If you've watched the show enough, you'll notice that Gene is a pretty classy guy, loves the high life, and gets uncomfortable in certain situations........so how is it that he ends up uncomfortable in every single episode? Whether it's his own scheme or someone else's, he looks like an idiot every single time. Are you kidding me? I'll have to check the credits to see if they list writers on it. There's no way this all happens by accident.
OK, I know I've villified reality TV a good amount, but I will say there are some shows that are well worth watching. I will simply list those shows, give a brief explanation as to why they're worth your time, but the show I feel is the best reality show out there will get a longer explanation. So, let's start the list:
- Dirty Jobs: I'm sure this was the first show you thought of. Educational, entertaining, and a great host in Mike Rowe make this show just plain fun to watch.
- Ice Road Truckers: While you would think seeing the same truckers every season might get out of hand, the fact that they stick them on very different ice roads every season gives you something different to watch all the time. This will catch you by surprise.
- Deadliest Catch: All you see is guys on boats catching crabs (in the ocean) season after season. What you really see are guys risky their lives for a payday, and the reality of this occupation's danger when you know that some don't make it back. It's the ultimate quest for fame outside of a gladiator fight.
Drum roll please......and the most deserving show of the title "Best Reality Show" goes to:
The Ultimate Fighter
Bet you think this is biased because I happen to be a big UFC fan. Hear me out first. What's the one common thing amongst all reality shows out there? Conflict. You see people competing for a prize families fighting about its own problems, even man vs. nature.....all that we're seeing is a fight of some sorts. People go for this sort of stuff; that's why the crap reality shows keep airing. And on all of these shows you want to see these people really go at it, real take the fight to eachother...........and it never really happens. American Idol finalists never end up being the two most deserving, and beware of that "power texting" that could screw somebody over. Bachelorette contestants never come to a real fist fight over the girl they're trying to get. Even the "slapstick" fights between the idiot drunks on "The Real World" are laughable, and never get truly resolved. Now, if you watch The Ultimate Fighter, you'll see how it works: two teams are made up of fighters, and they have a fight every single week to eliminate someone from the competition. Sure, the first parts of the episode show them just training or plain acting like morons........but then the most beautiful thing happens: they fight. These guys practically get to choose who they want to fight, and the blood can get pretty bad between them. And they go what's basically a cage, and they kick, punch, wrestle, wrench, and beat the hell out of eachother with all they got until a winner is found. Ho boy, that's the fighting you want to see! That's what you don't get anywhere else. Absolutely nowhere.
I hope this rant has clarified what reality TV is and in the end shouldn't be. I tried my very best to keep this clean as I wanted to drop the F-bomb various times throughout this post. It would've sounded better if I did, but I have to keep my heart rate at a reasonable level too. So, I hope you who have read this are a little enlightened, and now know what to look for when I say at the end of these to go find something entertaining, while I do the same. Just don't tune in to VH1 unless it's actually something music related, which is what the channel is supposed to cover in the first place.
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